One of the biggest questions on the subject of “Enoughness” is, “What does God think of me?”. It is a question pulled from the depths of our heart, crying out from the place where our inner child is hidden away from the world. It is the question born from a heart that is bound up and walled in by feelings of inadequacy, guilt, and fear.
“What does God think of me?”
It is important to know the true answer. We will believe something, and what we believe is vitally important to how we view ourselves in relation to God, the world we live in , and the people with which we interact. If we believe that, “God puts up with me, is usually disappointed with me, and loves me because he has to – he’s God.”, the way we treat ourselves and walk the journey of life will reflect that belief. We beat ourselves up for being too much of something, or not enough of another thing because of our belief that there is an attainable ideal person. We think we talk too much, are not extroverted enough, or are embarrassed by our own personality, and constantly work to change or improve ourselves after the manner we think will be acceptable. In doing so, we seek to answer the question with our own truth. If I do this, or become that, I will be more acceptable to God (and others). Perhaps you even tie it to the extending or withholding of God’s blessings on you – imagining he’s like a King who holds out his scepter to you in approval, or withdraws it in disapproval. What you believe is important and directly affects how you live this life – in chains or in freedom.
I like to start with this truth. God seeks for you.
Why is that important? Because it answers the question of desire. Does he desire me because I desire him? Does he love me because I am trying hard to be lovable? The answer of desire is this: “This is love, not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son…” (1 John 4:10) Stop for a moment and repeat that familiar verse until it becomes the very fabric of your heart. “This is love, not that we loved God, but that he loved us…” HE pursues YOU. Firstly, we do not pursue things which have no value to us. We are made by him in his image. He does not pursue things which have no value to him. Secondly, He is our Maker. Now, don’t get lost in the fog of religion and “church talk” when you read this. This is as real as breakfast. He made you on purpose. That speaks specifically to design. Think of something you have created or designed by your own hands and with your own mind that really gave you a sense of pride. It didn’t matter if anyone even knew you did it, but it was so good that you felt good seeing it. That is a dim version of how God feels every day he sees you. You. He is so proud of YOU. He made you and dances with joy to see you. It is no wonder his heart desires good things for us and hurts desperately for us when we go our own way. So desperately that he made a plan by which we could find freedom – even in our sinful condition. That’s kindness, and the very kindness which leads us to change our minds about ourselves and him.
Let’s talk about kindness. His to you, and yours to yourself. Never treat your heart, your true self, in any way contrary to God’s view of you. The way to avoid this is to daily remind yourself of who he is and who you are to him. You will find that what you believe at your very core will change how you see God, treat yourself, and relate to others. There are present wounds, I know, many of which seem at odds with what I have just said. Do not rely on your emotions or experiences to determine truth. Believe first, and invite Him into those dark places and you will be surprised by Kindness.
You were made for today. God desired you first. God is proud of what he made. You are not too much. You are not too little. You are enough. I say that about the true you. The you that only you and God see. I do not speak of sin or sin-nature, because he has made the way for your sin-self to be killed. Crucified as Jesus was, yet remaining dead. It need not be your master any longer. Who serves a dead master, after all? No, I speak of the inner person, the soul, the true you that was fearfully and wonderfully made. He really, really loves you. He is so proud of what he made. You are unique. You are a treasure. Believe it.
Stop trying to become. What you have to offer is unique and needed today. No one else has your mix of personality, desire, passion, experiences, body, and heart. All of it gives you the ability to walk through your time in history with confidence and freedom. This world needs you! Why else were you specifically created and living today? Find your passion and embrace your Maker. Let him hold you close as you listen to his heart beat for you. Release the inner child bound deep inside and regain the wonder-filled heart of your birth. You belong.
Intimacy with God results in the good kind of change, and we are the ones most surprised by it. Find Him. He’s already looking for you.